George Whipple, oh how we miss you.

From 1964 to 1985, an iconic TV ad campaign featured an amiable storekeeper squeezing countless rolls of Charmin bath tissue. Comfortably familiar — in the mid-70’s his face was more recognizable than Jimmy Carter’s — Mr. Whipple’s quirkiness never wavered. And we loved him for it.

The ads were goofy. He made no political statements. George Whipple was simply the pitchman who for decades turned tissue into solid gold for the consumer goods conglomerate Procter & Gamble (P&G).

Alas, Mr. Whipple would not be welcome at today’s P&G. He’s a male. Worse yet, he’s a white male — and that in the social justice world of selling toothpaste and laundry soap makes him a predatory racist.

In a new Procter & Gamble ad called “The Talk,” ominous music and fearful black mothers warn their kids about the evils that await them OUT THERE, from racial epithets to the institutional “privilege” of white people. One mom kvetches to her daughter that she needs to “work twice as hard and be twice as smart” whereas another darkly says, “when you get pulled over (by police), it’s not about you getting a ticket, this is about you not coming home.” You know, because black lives matter, at least when it comes to blood-thirsty cops.

The two-minute anti-white, cop-hating screed ends with a scrolling text:

“Let’s all talk about ‘the talk.’
So we can end the need to have it.
P&G: My black is beautiful.
It’s time for everyone to #talkaboutbias.

In a crass marketing ploy to grab “buzz” and make Bounty great again, P&G has kicked Mr. Whipple to the curb and with him millions of Americans who want nothing more than squeezably soft toilet paper. That the company has chosen to slander their customers based on their race and profession is a load of crap that even Charmin can’t clean up.